January 13, 2001 Shabbat-Sabbath

Monica D. Person

Our duties to our husbands and husbands to be are outlined in the scriptures: Titus 2:4 "to love them", 1 Corinthians 7:3-5,10 "to be faithful to them", Genesis 3:16, Ephesians 5:22,24 & 1 Peter 3:1 "to submit to them, Romans 7:2,3 to remain with them for life & Ephesians 5:33 "to reverence them", I like what the Amplified bible says in Ephesians 5:33, it reads "However, let each man of you (without exception) loves his wife as (being in a sense) his very own self: and let the wife see that she respects her him, praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly.

Are we accepting our husbands as they, or are we trying to change them to be what we want them to be instead of what Yahweh has called them to be?

When you accept someone what you actually do is believe, receive, put up with and sometimes take on some of their ways. When you put up with someone it doesn’t have to be so negative as it sounds. Some ways that your mate may have may be good for you and also ways that you have may be good for him as well.

The first step to desiring a mate is to have a personal relationship with Yahweh our Father through Yahshua our Messiah. Isaiah 54:5 "Your creator will be your husband". It is very important to form a relationship with Yahweh and Yahshua before you get married, and you should also make sure that your mate has a relationship with the Father & Son.

Before you get married you need time to court in a non-sexual relationship, so that you can get the chance to know him. If you desire marriage, you should be praying for your husband now. Also pray for your unborn children. Look for signs when you are dating, if you notice something about him that you feel that you just cannot deal with, don’t stay with him and be miserable. I suggest courting for 4 seasons because when the seasons change, people sometimes change.

*=See note

Did you accept him at that point, or did you just need him to fill in the loneliness that you felt? Well, you did both. Let’s go to Genesis 2:18 "And Yahweh said, it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him". Since Yahweh made woman for the man, I’m sure to assume that the woman had something in her that could fulfill the desire of the man. The sexual desire in marriage. Also the woman has a desire in her that only the man can fulfill. That is the way that Yahweh designed it. Homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22) cannot fulfill the proper desire. Hebrews 13:4 says "Marriage is honorable in all and the bed is undefiled: but fornicators and adulteress Elohim will judge".

So the loneliness that you felt after you two broke up was how Yahweh designed both you and your mate. That’s why Yahweh said that it is not good that man should be alone. You have a natural desire for each other.

When you first marry, you really don’t know each other. That’s why it is good to communicate before you get married. Talk about your hopes & dreams. Be real with each other so that there won’t be any major surprises. Discuss finances, children, in-laws and your good and bad habits. If you knew that your husband doesn’t like to go shopping with you or do something that you like to do before you got married, don’t expect him to do it after you are married. I’m not saying that he can’t change because Yahweh will make positive changes in your marriage if you let Him. Pray for your husband instead of nagging. It’s o.k. to discuss things with him, but try not to nag, that only makes things worse and he will draw up. Give your husband to Yahweh, because Yahweh is able to change him to be the man that He desires him to be.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, if it’s not a big deal; don’t make an issue out of it. Most of the time what we need is an attitude adjustment. By all means when you have a confrontation make up quickly. Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry and sin not, let not the sun go down on your wrath". We’ll you say, "The sun has went down already" (O.K.) but don’t deprive him when he asks to make love. Learn how to deal with the issue of what made you angry and then go on the next part of your life. Learn to separate the two.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*= Note